I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
