so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
