That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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