And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
