she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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