Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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