dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize