Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
