I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
