What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
