Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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