haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
