Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he puts the penis in happiness.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
