just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
