we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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