there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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