I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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