just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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