if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Enjoy the penises
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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