She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
you made out with another girl for some wings
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
