i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
