So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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