i jhust puked up my retainher.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
