....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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