hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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