hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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