she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
