last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
