First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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