Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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