There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
