distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
