oh god the rape fog is back!
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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