fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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