I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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