You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
