Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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