She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
