we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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