Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
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I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
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i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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