My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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