using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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