Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
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no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
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Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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