what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
