dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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