420 ftw
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
