Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
