Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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