just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Girls should come with a carfax report
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
