it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself