Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car