I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
we're making bets on your personal life
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.