I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
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he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
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I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.