I'm pants shitting drunk right now
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando