I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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