So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.