I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
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You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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