Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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