Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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