Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
