I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
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It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
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No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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