3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Randomize
