Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
