id be glad to
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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