My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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