I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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