so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
