she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
