you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
