I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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