i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
