every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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