help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
