Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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