I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
